Smoke Alarms
The background:
7:15. There I was lying in bed, semi-conscious, trying to get another couple of minutes sleep before I have to get up.
That's when the smoke alarm decides to start beeping. "That's ok" I thought, "because Mum hasn't left for work yet, she'll take out the batteries."
The question is, why did the smoke alarm go off? There are two options:
1. Someone was cooking toast (even though toast has never set the alarm off before)
2. The batteries were dieing (probable considering it's fairly old)
So which option did my mum think it was?... Option 1.
So the alarm gets turned off and mum goes to work.
7:45 Smoke alarm goes off again.
I'm still in bed.
7:50 Smoke alarm turns itself off.
I'm still in bed.
7:51 Smoke alarm turns itself on again.
I’m still in bed.
7:57 Smoke alarm is still on. I get up.
7:58 I get up and start stumbling down the stairs. My eyes are a little blurry and the high pitch beeping of the alarm leaves me a little disoriented. I blindly make my way downstairs and walk into the kitchen. I look above the cupboard where the alarm normally lives. It's not there.
7:59 I try to find the source of the disorienting noise.
I find it in the hallway near the front door. I pick up the alarm and without pressing anything it turns itself off. "What the..?"
So anyway I'm still blind and decide to work out how I turned the stupid thing off. So I hold the alarm near my eyeballs to try and read the writing and I found some genius had put white writing on a white background.
I finally find the section of the alarm I'm meant to press to turn it off and think, "But I didn't even touch that section of the alarm..."
The alarm goes off again.
So now I'm blind and deaf and angry.
I press the area of the alarm to turn it off and lo and behold it turns off!! Now to work out how to take the battery out.
I look closely at the alarm and can see inside the vents to the battery. But how to get to the battery? And why does an alarm need cooling vents??? Is it to let the smoke into the alarm to melt that battery and spread molten lead or mercury (or whatever heavy metal they use these days) everywhere? Or is it just to spite me? To make me able to see the battery but not get to it?
My parents, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the best smoke alarm to buy is the one where there is no noticeable way of taking the battery out. Yes, that's right: Some designer genius out there has decided to make a smoke alarm more difficult to operate than a Rubik’s cube AND my parents decided to buy it.
I finally find the way to open the Rubik’s cube (I had to search for the white writing on white background again) and take the battery out. But not before the sucker had deafened me once more.
So overall, not a bad way to start the day. 4 Gold stars.
7:15. There I was lying in bed, semi-conscious, trying to get another couple of minutes sleep before I have to get up.
That's when the smoke alarm decides to start beeping. "That's ok" I thought, "because Mum hasn't left for work yet, she'll take out the batteries."
The question is, why did the smoke alarm go off? There are two options:
1. Someone was cooking toast (even though toast has never set the alarm off before)
2. The batteries were dieing (probable considering it's fairly old)
So which option did my mum think it was?... Option 1.
So the alarm gets turned off and mum goes to work.
7:45 Smoke alarm goes off again.
I'm still in bed.
7:50 Smoke alarm turns itself off.
I'm still in bed.
7:51 Smoke alarm turns itself on again.
I’m still in bed.
7:57 Smoke alarm is still on. I get up.
7:58 I get up and start stumbling down the stairs. My eyes are a little blurry and the high pitch beeping of the alarm leaves me a little disoriented. I blindly make my way downstairs and walk into the kitchen. I look above the cupboard where the alarm normally lives. It's not there.
7:59 I try to find the source of the disorienting noise.
I find it in the hallway near the front door. I pick up the alarm and without pressing anything it turns itself off. "What the..?"
So anyway I'm still blind and decide to work out how I turned the stupid thing off. So I hold the alarm near my eyeballs to try and read the writing and I found some genius had put white writing on a white background.
I finally find the section of the alarm I'm meant to press to turn it off and think, "But I didn't even touch that section of the alarm..."
The alarm goes off again.
So now I'm blind and deaf and angry.
I press the area of the alarm to turn it off and lo and behold it turns off!! Now to work out how to take the battery out.
I look closely at the alarm and can see inside the vents to the battery. But how to get to the battery? And why does an alarm need cooling vents??? Is it to let the smoke into the alarm to melt that battery and spread molten lead or mercury (or whatever heavy metal they use these days) everywhere? Or is it just to spite me? To make me able to see the battery but not get to it?
My parents, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the best smoke alarm to buy is the one where there is no noticeable way of taking the battery out. Yes, that's right: Some designer genius out there has decided to make a smoke alarm more difficult to operate than a Rubik’s cube AND my parents decided to buy it.
I finally find the way to open the Rubik’s cube (I had to search for the white writing on white background again) and take the battery out. But not before the sucker had deafened me once more.
So overall, not a bad way to start the day. 4 Gold stars.
posted by - Matt at 09:08
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